Why people have extramarital affairs?
Talk about a loaded theme that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on from old ages. Extramarital relationships can be loaded with evils, cause sorrow, and other troubles. Plus you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty issue, funds, age difference, spiritual background, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I shall identify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married men.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking an affair. I think mostly though it is just the human nature, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us escape the world for a brief period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can switch the wish on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos the world has erected against married dating. For lots of people the yearnings will overcome their worries and make them risk the rage of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is extremely good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your family or anyone else? You would need to reduce the risk you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest grouping, colossal in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel happy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to look after. Your funds are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An extramarital affair occasionally solves the trouble while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a ordinary reason I fear. One or the other, frequently the male is sexually neglecting his female for a number of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be compassion is not here, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have just developed apart, our relulas interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposite of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.